5 Family Patterns That Follow People Into Marriage. Narcissism doesn't appear out of nowhere. It's grown. But before we go any further, we need to talk about the word narcissist. Social media has turned it into a catch-all label for almost anyone who hurts us. Someone is selfish? Narcissist. Difficult? Narcissist. Doesn't apologize the way we want? Narcissist. An ex behaves badly? Definitely a narcissist. Clinically, it's much more nuanced than that. Narcissistic traits can include an...

The healthiest relationships aren’t the ones that never experience rupture. They’re the ones that know how to repair. One of my favorite quotes from Dr. John Gottman is: “The masters of relationships are masters of repair.” I think about those words every time I sit with a couple. As a Gottman-trained therapist, I spend a lot of time teaching couples that conflict isn’t the enemy. Disconnection is inevitable. What predicts the health of a relationship isn’t whether you fight—it’s whether you...

A Guide for the Guy Who Genuinely Doesn’t Get It. The Mental Load doesn’t take a summer vacation like this little guy. Summer Is Here. And She Is Running on Empty. It is 9:17 in the morning. School has been out for 8 days. She has already been asked what’s for breakfast, what’s for lunch, what snacks do we have, and — I kid you not — what’s for dinner? It is 9:17 in the morning. Somewhere between the third “I’m bored” and the second request for something that requires the stove, she has...